Scribbling my poetry

No day but today

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 19:32:49 GMT

OK, if you requested a drabble, I'm so, so sorry that you don't have them yet.

See, I wrote both of them on my older sisters computer which I don't have access to right now. I'm sorry, but I just can't get on it to post.

I hate making you guys wait, but I want to give you the best possible story and if I try re-writing them so you can get them sooner, they won't be anywhere near as good as they are right now.

The good news is that they're both written and completed. Of course, both are longer than a drabble, so I'm hoping that's okay.

More good news, I think, is that I'm starting a new story. It'll be short, maybe two or three parts, no more.

Ryan Ross works in an ice-cream store.

He is a 25 year old college graduate, and he works in an ice-cream store.

Normally, he won’t let himself dwell on how pathetic this really is, and he guesses that majoring in Journalism won’t really get you anywhere if no one wants to hire you. As it is, he’s only working at the Marble Slab Creamery because his best friend Spencer couldn’t get him a job at the Barnes & Noble across the street.

Ryan doesn’t even like ice-cream that much.

When Ryan graduated, he had been hoping to be hired by one of the local newspapers or magazines before slowly working his way up to writing short stories or novels that would actually be published instead of collecting dust on his computer’s hard-drive.

Instead, he was unemployed for almost six months before Spencer mentioned his connections at what he called ‘an upscale ice-cream café’ and ‘a quaint little indie bookshop’. Ryan had been so exhausted with being out of work and in need of a job anywhere that he gladly let Spencer set him up with interviews.

It turns out that to be qualified to work in an ice-cream parlor, all you really need to know how to do is work an ice-cream scoop and smile. After his interview, Ryan called up Spencer and yelled for a few minutes. Spencer simply sighed and explained that some crazy guy had just been hired at Barnes & Noble, filling the only available position.

Ryan is hired within two days of his interview.

*****

It’s not that he isn’t grateful to be working, because he is, really. And it’s not that he doesn’t constantly thank God for his best friend’s ridiculous work contacts, because he does. Just...an ice-cream parlor is really no place to hone his writing style. Besides, he looks kind of ridiculous in the bright yellow apron and hat he has to wear for each 8 hour shift.

Thankfully, it’s been a slow day.

The girl he’s working this particular shift with has a really annoying habit of filing her nails over the clear window covering the many different tubs of ice-cream and frozen yogurt, leaving tiny flecks of white on it that make Ryan want to spray Lysol all over the plastic guard. She also spends the entirety of her shifts chewing the same piece of spearmint gum. One stick for eight hours at a time. Ryan’s eye twitches.

“Hello? I’d kind of love some ice-cream or something,” says a voice from across the counter and Ryan jumps a little, surprised. He had been staring at the blonde girl he works with and wondering if it’s possible to beat someone to death with an ice-cream scoop and had, apparently, missed the annoying bell that sounds a new customer entering the store.

The boy, for he looks a bit too young to be considered a man, sighs and places one hand on his rather prominent hip. The boy is tiny, thin, and looks very feminine in his tight-fitting black jeans and a lavender hoodie that hugs his body nicely.

Erin, the girl Ryan works with, snaps her gum and rolls her eyes.

“Whatever, I’m on break, okay?” she says and begins to untie her apron as she walks toward the ‘employees only’ door behind the counter.

Ryan stares at her retreating back with his mouth half open.

“Right. Well, ice-cream?” asks the nameless boy and Ryan jumps again, turning to face the boy in front of him fully.

He forces himself to smile at the (attractive) stranger, hoping to look friendly.

“You look like you have a splinter in your ass,” states the boy (who Ryan decides is no longer a stranger, but just simply ‘strange’ in general) casually and Ryan’s mouth drops open, “but you’re kind of cute otherwise so it’s cool.”

A thick blush creeps up on Ryan’s face and he closes his mouth, smiling shyly.

*****

So, yeah. Ridiculously AU and whatnot. If you can guess who I'm pairing Ryan with (hahaha, it's so obvious too) then you get a free drabble request.

Now, I'm still itching to do a co-write so, if you're interested, e-mail me or comment here or something, okay?

XOXO
rei

Requests!

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 02:03:31 GMT

Hello dolls!

So I was listening to The Hush Sound and feeling sorry for myself when I had a brilliant idea! Drabble Requests!

A pairing:
An adjective:
A color:
A location:
An emotion:
Random word of choice:

Just fill out the form, leave it in a comment, and I'll write you your very own drabble! Pairings can include any member of the following bands: TAI, FOB, PATD or any of the following, Travis, Gabe, Frank, Gerard, Mikey, Ray. I'm assuming you know who all of those boys are xD.

Have fun and be creative!

Soundtrack of my Summer

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 04:35:13 GMT

Here you go:

Prologue

When I was seventeen years old, I met my best friend.

Some of you will think that’s unusual; aren’t best friends found in grade school?

Usually, yes. I was a geek in grade school and almost all of high school actually. My obnoxious braces, disagreeable hair, and Mormon parents were socially crippling.

No one wanted to hang out with a guy who couldn’t chew gum or drink Coke.

The day I turned seventeen, my parents finally gave me the chance to change all of that.

But I’m getting a little bit ahead of myself.

Maybe I should start from the beginning.

See, my aunt and uncle owned a large house on the outskirts of Vegas, about 50 miles away from my own house on the other side of Vegas.

For my birthday, my parents offered me eight hundred dollars and a summer with my aunt and uncle. Some sort of apology for my lack of a social life or interaction with people my own age. Better late than never, right?

Right.

I would leave the day after school let out for summer.

The rest of the school year was completely uneventful. I had no one to tell that I was leaving, no friends to miss me or call me while I was gone. As the final bell rang on my last day I was relieved and excited for the first time in years. Maybe I would make friends this summer. The more I thought about it on my way home, the more I felt like a normal kid.

As soon as I got home I packed.

It didn’t take me long to, seeing as I had no pictures or mementos from friends to take with me and I would only be gone for a few months anyway.

My parents hugged my and sniffled a bit about how much they were going to miss their only son.

I rolled my eyes.

“Now you need to be careful out there, okay son? They live a bit closer to the city and we don’t want you straying off the path while you’re down there.”

My dad always had the weirdest metaphors and things like that. ‘Straying off the path’? Jesus, I was visiting relatives, not hiking through the woods. Still, I gave him a hug and a gold star for trying before moving on to my mother. My bags were sitting by the door, yelling at me to hurry the hell up and get my ass out of there.

“Don’t spend too much of that money at one time, sweetie. Be careful, okay?”

My mom was bit more on the sane side and I loved her for it. With a genuine smile, I kissed her on the forehead and moved off to the front door, yelling a quick ‘I love you’ behind me as I grabbed my bags and closed the door behind me.

Finally, a break from Mormonsville Nevada.

Brendon: 1. World: 0.

So far, so good.

******
Part One

I had never been so excited to be driving a purple minivan in my entire two years of having a license.

Finally, I was able to drive alone; no dad to talk about his younger days or mom to lecture me about religion.

The upbeat sound of Third Eye Blind filled up my car and spilled out of the open windows along with my voice; loud and unashamed.

I felt free.

The right words for how it feels to be on your own are few and hard to come by.

It was like a potted plant that was kept indoors. Maybe a fern; kept on display on a windowsill for years and years. Healthy, loved, but lonely. A step away from freedom for so long. And then one day, it’s moved outside onto the front porch and into the sunlight for the first time in it’s life with nothing to hold it back.

Or something like that. I was never good with words.

The hour and a half drive felt like minutes as suddenly, that old farmhouse came into view.

Yeah, it was really as amazing as I had hoped it would be.

It was humongous, way bigger than my cruddy house. Bay windows lined the entire top floor; each room had at least two that I could see. The shutters were black and all of them were open wide. The shades were open in one of the rooms, I assumed it was a bedroom, and I swore I saw the face of…someone. My uncle maybe? It looked like they owned a lot of land and the house was surrounded on all sides by rolling hills and trees; behind it was a forest full of beautiful oak trees and large patches of pines and evergreens.

I felt like I was looking at one of those big, cozy houses on postcards at Christmas. Minus the snow, of course.

With a contented sigh, I drove that old minivan up the large, twisting drive-way before coming to a stop and turning off the ignition.

I hopped out of the car and opened my trunk, reaching in to grab my suitcase.

“Hiya!”

“Fuck!”

I jumped in surprise at the loud voice behind me and my head shot up, slamming against the metal top of my minivan. My suitcase fell with a thump from my grasp and hit the bottom of my trunk seconds before I hit the gravel drive-way.

“Oh dear”

I clutched at the back of my head and clenched my eyes closed. Who the hell is that? What the fuck do they think they’re doing, sneaking up on me like that. Jesus.

“Well, geez. I was going to apologize, random stranger.”

There was that voice again and, fuck, did I say all of that out loud? Great. Just great.

I opened my eyes and blinked rapidly. Standing in front of me was boy. A boy my age. Who the hell is that? My parents said nothing about there being other people here that weren’t family.

We stared at each other for a good minute. I took the opportunity to, well….’check him out’.

This, this boy was…well, gorgeous if I’m being completely honest. His features were soft and feminine, save for a small frown. Soft-looking brown hair was feathery and fell casually to frame his face. Wide hazel eyes sparkled in the warm sunlight. He had on tight, dark jeans and a simple green V-neck t-shirt with a three-row studded belt slung low on his thin hips.

He was, in a word, pretty. In two words he was fucking gorgeous.

“So, are you Brendon?”

I blinked again at his question. Jesus Christ, who did he think I was, the fucking Easter bunny?

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Fuck.

“Um, yeah. Sorry. I guess I tend to think out loud more than I should”, I said as he looked me up and down with a small smile on his slim face.

“Yes, you do. I’m Ryan. Ryan Ross. Tim and Amanda felt bad having you here alone for a
few months so they invited me over to stay as well”, he stated as he offered me a hand and I
realized I was still on the ground. Nice, Urie. Real nice.

I took his hand and slowly stood. His hand was small in mine; soft and warm. A blush crept
onto my cheeks and Ryan giggled a bit in front of me.

Once I was steady on my feet, he stayed in front of me.
Looking at me with wide, welcoming eyes.

I blinked rapidly for a few seconds before lowering my gaze to the ground and kicking absent-
mindedly at a stray piece of gravel with the toe of my shoe.

“So”, I said without looking up, “Who exactly are you? I mean, I’m their nephew. Are you
like, my cousin or something?”

He chuckled softly and I looked up at him.

“Sorry. No, actually. We aren’t related.”

Thank you Jesus.

“I just usually work here a few days a week during the summer. Gardening, cleaning up around the house. Things like that. I love your Aunt, she’s awesome.” he stated with a smile.

Suddenly, I felt a lot more comfortable around him.

I grabbed two of my suitcases and he picked my other one off of the ground, dusting off the
bottom a bit.

“Sorry about almost breaking your skull open. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s fine. Besides, you didn’t scare me. To be honest, you aren’t very threatening. I mean that in the nicest way, of course.” I replied with a smirk.

He laughed deeply and I smiled. Score!

“Come on Bren, let’s get your things inside. I’m sure your poor aunt is wondering what’s taking you so long. We don’t want to miss out on her telling you how thin you are, now do we?”

I frowned a bit.

Of course I knew I was thin, but I could still stand to lose some weight.

“Oh please, I’m not that thin.” My reply was punctuated with a small laugh but he didn’t return it; he simply looked at me as if I had grown an extra head or two and rolled his eyes with a frown.

“Whatever. You’re a rail, bitch.”

I shrugged. Whatever. He can think what we wants.

***

The inside of the house smelled kind of like old people and Vanilla. I told Ryan this and he just laughed at me.

“Don’t call your Aunt and Uncle old. And the vanilla is my fault. I love vanilla.”

I sighed a bit but filed that little fact in the back of my mind.

“Ryan? Is Brendon here yet?” a soft female voice called through the long hallway we stood in that led from the front door.

Ryan gave me a quick smile before replying, “Yeah Amanda. He looks kind of thin too, I don’t know what they’ve been feeding him!”

I was, at the same time, really pissed and kind of impressed that Ryan could manage to talk like a 40 year old woman; confused about whether or not that was bad sign.

Hmm.

Suddenly, the pathway in front of us was blocked by my, um, large Aunt Amanda. Is it still rude to think 'fat cow' even if you don't say it? Whatever.

"Brendon! Darling, it's been far too long, sweetie! Look how much you've grown!"

Oh sweet Jesus, what have I gotten myself into. I sent Ryan a slightly terrified glance before my breathing was cut off by the arms of my large Aunt Amanda. Fuck, she was strong.

My head was smashed against her chest and I think she was trying to see if I was so thin that she could really break me in half because my spine was yelling at me to get the fuck away from her death grip of love.

After a moment, she let me go and I tried to regulate my breathing with a smile on my face so she wouldn't think I was dying or something. By the way Ryan was giggling, I think I just ended up looking ridiculous. Just great.

"Tsk. You look famished dear, have they been feeding you? I'll have to ring your mother after dinner and give her a good talking to." she exclaimed, clicking her tongue at my stomach.

I simply blinked and nodded a little; just enough to make her think that I cared.

"Alright Amanda, I should get Brendon up to our room. He looks so tired after such a long trip; he must be aching for a nap." interjected Ryan just as she grabbed my arm and started to lead me to what I could only assume was the kitchen.

Thank God for Ryan Ross. I was starting to feel more like a puppy and less like a human thanks to my dear Aunt Amanda.

She frowned a bit but nodded and I sighed in relief as Ryan grabbed my other arm and dragged me in the other direction. Jesus Christ, do these people think I can't walk or something?

Ryan gave me a funny look and let go of my arm.

"You really need to work on that 'thinking out loud thing'" he said, but he was smiling so I chuckled a bit.

Then it hit me; 'our room?'

If you want to use this, we can change Ry's character into William.

A Secret Silenced -- Two

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 02:37:44 GMT

Title: A Secret Silenced [2]
Writer: humxhallelujahx
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon
Summary: Best friends forever, right?

The last week of High School is supposed to be spent goofing off and making memories. But for Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie, nothing is ever that easy. What is Ryan hiding? Can Brendon figure out the truth before it's too late?
POV: First; Brendon
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: The story is mine, the characters aren't.
Dedication: To Jen and Serena because LISLI wins more than anything else and also to everyone who commented.
Author Notes: Alright, this is part two. I'm really hoping you guys like it.

Previous: Part one -- Words can be weapons

Part Two

I'm not sure who's idea it was that things always seem better after a few hours of sleep, but I wanted to kick their ass.

When I woke up, it was past 4, I had 10 missed calls and everything was just as confusing as it was when I fell asleep. Lovely.

I rubbed sleep from my eyes and blearily scrolled through the list of calls that I missed. All of them were from Ryan. Of course; he probably called me originally to wonder why I didn't show up to school. All the calls after that were most likely pissed because I wasn't calling him back.

With a sigh, I punched in his number, hovering my finger over the call key. The soft glow of the buttons was mocking me and I frowned, throwing my phone onto my bed.

God, but I couldn't just...not call him. Who else would? He wasn't that, you know, popular.

Sighing again, I grabbed the phone, typed in his number, and pressed call before I had the chance to back out of it.

"Hello?"

His voice was soft and barely there and I was a bit concerned. Ryan was never really quiet. Odd how he could make me switch mood so easily with one word.

"Hey Ryan, it's Bren."

He sighed and was silent for a moment.

"Um...right now is a bad time. Mom's new boyfriend is over right now and she wants us to all have dinner....could you, um. Could you maybe call me later?" he voice was rushed and low and I was confused. I thought Ryan liked his mom's boyfriend. Maybe that was the last one. "Oh. Well, I'll just call you later then, I guess." I replied, a bit disappointed. Hearing his voice reminded me of how much I loved talking to him.

"Yeah. Okay, I have to go. Love you, bye."

"Love you too, Ry." I answered and ended the call with a sad smile.

Well. What now?

My Ryan was busy, Jon was out of town, and William was probably with his boyfriend, Oli.

Sighing (I do that a lot, huh) I stood up and headed out of my room, tossing my phone onto my bed as I make my way out.

The TV was on in my living room, signaling that my Dad was still at work and my mom was probably watching a movie or something.

"Mom?" I called and stepped into the room.

My mom was sitting on my favorite couch in the center of the room, reading with some music channel playing. I squinted and read the title 'The Phantom Tollbooth'. I shook my head. She loved that book.

Without looking up, she answered, "Yeah, Brendon?"

I walked over to her and sat down next to her, reading along over her shoulder.

"I'm bored, mom. Entertain me."

She laughed, light and airy and closed her book.

"Sometimes I worry about you kids." she said and I raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?" I asked. All my sisters were already out of high school and no longer living with us.

"'Entertain me'? Don't you have friends or something?"

I laughed. That's my mom for you.

"I blame you, mom. You obviously raised us wrong."

She rolled her eyes and pushed me a bit.

"I did not. You're all still somewhat sane. You're all kinda nice kids and stuff." she said, shrugging.

My eyebrows shot up, "'kinda nice kids and stuff? Mom, have you been watching MTV?" I asked, trying to sound stern.

She rolled her eyes again and pushed me again, this time I slid off the couch and landed on the floor with a soft thump.

"No I haven't, young man. I haven't. Being this witty comes naturally for me."

I laughed it off, but still pouted and whined as I stood again and decided to go back up to my room. It was useless to try and get any useful advice or information from my mom.

Turning my light on, I scoured my bookshelves to find a book to pass the time. I settled on a random Harry Potter book. I inspected the spine; 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire'. Shrugging, I flopped down on my bed and opened it, getting comfortable and starting to read.

*********

After two hours and a few hundred pages of magic, I closed the book and rubbed at my eyes.

That was enough reading for a couple of weeks. I yawned and reached blindly for my cell-phone, flipping it open and dialing Ryan's number without looking at the keys. I pressed call and listened to the rings, shoving my book off of my bed and laying down.

"Hello?"

Wow, deja vu.

"Hey Ry."

He sighed and replied, "Hey Bren. Sorry I couldn't talk earlier."

"Nah, it's fine. Did you have a good time with your mom and her boyfriend?" I asked, snuggling into a pillow. I heard him mumble something I couldn't quite hear.

"What?" I asked.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. Um, yeah. I guess I had a good time."

I raised an eyebrow, but dropped it. He'd end up telling me later anyway.

"Oh. What's his name, your mom's boyfriend I mean."

"Travis. He's an okay guy, I guess. He's a musician so he gets cool points for that. But he drinks a lot so....I don't like that at all, you know?" he said, sounding more reserved than usual.

"Yeah, sounds like he'd be awesome if he didn't drink."

See, Ryan's dad was an alcoholic. He left Ry and his mom when Ryan was about 13. I don't thunk he ever physically abused Ryan, but he didn't like to talk about it so I didn't ask him about it very much.

"I guess so." he said.

"So what did you guys do today?" I asked, trying to keep conversation flowing. It was weird. Normally, Ryan was a lot more talkative.

"Nothing too interesting. We hung out at the house mostly. Mom had to leave early for work, so I hung out with Travis for a bit."

"Cool, what did you guys do?"

A moments pause, and then, "We watched fight club. He likes that movie too."

Silence fell. There wasn't much else to talk about, really.

"I'm sorry about his morning, Ry. I didn't know it'd bother you that much." I said, breaking the silence.

"It's fine. I over exaggerated. It's not a big deal."

More silence.

"God Ry, only three more days of school and then we're done forever. I can't believe it's almost over."

"I know, it's amazing, right? I can't wait to get out of Vegas."

I chuckled a bit. Even a city as huge as Vegas wasn't big enough for my Ryan. I love that about him. He could never be happy unless he had enough space for all of his crazy ideas.

"Me neither. We still on for that road trip this summer?" I asked, yawning again.

"Totes."

I raised another eyebrow? 'Totes'? Oh my Jesus, he did NOT just say, 'totes'.

"Hey, Ry?"

"Yes."

"Did you just say totes?"

"Yes I did." he answered and I could hear the smile in his voice.

Now there’s my Ryan. I missed that Ryan; I was seeing less and less of him lately.

“God, Ry. You’re worse than my mom.”

“Shut up, you love me.” he said with a light chuckle.

“Yes. Yes I do, you lucky bitch.”

He laughed, hard and I started laughing too. I don’t know why, it wasn’t even funny, really.   But I loved hearing him laugh. And, okay, so maybe I love him a little bit too. But whatever.

“Actually, I think you’re the lucky bitch. You’re lucky that I am gracious enough to talk to you. I’m a sexy bitch, I could have all the friends I want.” He said, and okay. Yeah, that stung a bit but he was kidding so I laughed.

“No, you’re the lucky one. My ass is slamming, I could have people lining up to be friends with me if I really wanted to. But I don’t because I have a Ryan and that’s enough.”

It was silent for a bit, and I was afraid I had upset him again.

“Okay, how about we’re both lucky? We have each other, and that’s enough for now.” he said and I smiled.

“Anyway, I’m sleepy. I’m gonna go to bed, okay?” he said and I nodded to myself.

“Yeah, I’m tired too. See to tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Pick me up?” he asked.

“Of course. Love you, bye.”

“Love you too, bye.”

**********

The next morning, I woke up to my alarm.

I sat up slowly, stretching, and smacked at my clock until it fell off of my dresser; landing with a loud crack on my hardwood floor. Oh well. At least it wasn’t ringing anymore.   Besides, I only had two more days of school left anyway, I didn’t really need it anymore.

My hair looked worse than it had the day before. I looked at in my bathroom mirror and pouted. Still, I attempted to tame it with a comb, but it was no use. My hair as a tangled mess of death and old hair gel. Lovely. After a moment, I threw the comb into my sink and left the bathroom.

Ryan called as I was zipping up my pants and reminded me to pick him up and to grab my research paper before I left. He was my brain, I swear. I grabbed a floppy disk and stuck it in my back pocket seeing as my messenger bag was in my car.

I grabbed my car keys, turned off the light in my room, and headed downstairs.

My mom was still asleep, but my dad was awake and making coffee in the kitchen. I waved to him and yelled a quick, ‘love you’ as I headed out the door.

It was a nice day, peaceful and it looked like rain. Awesome.

My faithful purple minivan was waiting patiently for me in the drive-way. Yeah, don’t laugh. That car was seriously pimpin, okay? Okay.

I hopped in and searched around for Ryan’s favorite Third Eye Blind CD and popped it into my CD player before putting my key in the ignition and pulling out of my drive-way to go pick up Ryan.

[NOTE Ta da! Do you like it? This is kind of a filler to set up the next chapter. I love compliments, but I love criticism even more. Don’t be afraid to tell me what you think.]

Close to a coffin of hope

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 21:16:44 GMT

My drought of inspiration is still alive and well, which is ironic and it pisses me off.

So I've decided that maybe writing a co-write would help me out.

I can write anyone in P!ATD and TAI. Travis McCoy, Gerard Way, Frank Iero, and Mikey Way are also good for me.

Um....I just got AIM so if you're interested, message me: overcastxkidxx. I also have MSN (xbury.me.in.memoryx@hotmail.com) but I'm not on it much.

So if you're interested, comment on this entry or AIM me, okay?

Also, I'm working on a fic for someone, and a new standalone based on the song When you come back down by Nickel Creek. I'll post the song later today if you want to hear it. XD

A new harlequin

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 00:51:55 GMT

So I'm really bored right now.

I don't have the time or energy to deal with writing or editing or anything technical.

It's weird. Normally, I can never stop writing and lately it's like I can't even start. I can get a few good sentences into a new story and then....poof. It's gone faster than a hooker after a one-night stand! I'm so aggravated with myself.

In other news, what do you think of my userpic? Should I change it?

XOXO
Rei

A Secret Silenced -- One

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 00:07:37 GMT

Title: A Secret Silenced [1]
Writer: </a></a>ohxtisxaxposer
Summary: Best friends forever, right?

The last week of High School is supposed to be spent goofing off and making memories. But for Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie, nothing is ever that easy. What is Ryan hiding? Can Brendon figure out the truth before it's too late?
POV: First; Brendon
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon
Disclaimer: The story is mine, the characters aren't.
Dedication: To </a></a>pluginxbaby and</a></a>fabledfaith because LISLI wins more than anything else. Also to xhowoldamix for reading my ramblings.
Author Notes: I have this written up to part 5 and I'll start posting this if you like it. [More notes at the end]

Part One

On a Wednesday night in Vegas, most high school students are out partying with their friends, not caring that it was the middle of the week and they had classes the next day.

Not me.

No, good little Mormon boy Brendon Urie was at home.

I could feel sleep tugging with nimble fingers at the bottom edges of my eyelids but the glowing screen of my computer kept them open.

Sleepy was really all I could feel at the time.

All other emotions were scanned by my brain, deemed useless, and wadded up into a huge ball of numbness: i.e, me.

That's what typing a 10-page research paper will do to you, I guess.

Ryan was right, I thought, I probably shouldn't have waited until the last possible hour to type it. But I had a social life, church, the band. Other, more important things to deal with than Honor's English Four. But I digress.

My eyes were glued to the bright white screen; all other lights in the room were off. Cool wind blew softly through my open window and Bright Eyes flowed smoothly out of my speakers. Not that I could really hear it. I was too busy keeping my eyes open to focus on much else. I remember being insanely thankful that I took keyboarding for two years.

Somewhere between my third page and 'Waste of Paint' I heard a light tapping coming from my right. I ignored it.

A few moments later, more tapping.

"Fuck."

A quick glance at my clock burned my eyes and informed me that it was 1 am. Great.

I stood, stretched, and rubbed the back of my neck as I headed to my window. It was cracked open halfway and through it, I could make out the face of none other than Ryan Ross. Despite my sleepy eyes and worn out body, I smiled.

"Hey bitch. Open the window," he whispered.

I rolled my eyes.

"Why? You have no ass. You can fit through that window," I replied. It seemed that my witty banter was open all night. Good to know.

"Seriously, hoe, open the goddamn window."

I huffed and sighed, but opened the stupid window nonetheless.

Ryan climbed swiftly through the small opening and smiled at me, brushing himself off.

"You know, my room is on the first floor. You could come in through the side door, no problem," I stated, flopping down on my bed as Ryan inspected my computer screen.

"True," he replied, "But what fun is that? It's much more interesting to squeeze my very nice ass through your window every other night."

I chuckled with my face pressed into a pillow.

"Whatever you say Ross."

"Yup. Whatever I say. What are you working on?" he asked, and sat down in my chair, resting his fingers on the keys. I sat up quickly.

"Um...well. It's kinda my research paper. And...yeah," I rushed, and quickly before shoving my pillow over my face.

5

4

3

2

"Brendon!"

Within seconds, I had a lap-full of Ryan.

"I told you to write that shit weeks ago, Bren," he said, exasperated, and slid off of me and onto the floor.

Sighing, I lay stomach-down on my bed and rested my chin slightly over the edge of my mattress to smile softly at my pissed-off best friend.

"I know, I know. But did you seriously think I'd listen to you?" I replied.

Ryan smiled as well and lay on his back, staring up at my ceiling.

"Yes?"

"Okay, have I ever listened to you before?"

"...no."

"Exactly."

He laughed a bit but reached blindly for a pillow. As soon as his hand hit something soft, he grabbed it and threw it, his aim directed at my face.

"Hey Ry?" I asked, amused.

"Yes?"

"Two things: One, you missed me by at least three feet. Two: Those were my favorite pants and I think they may have gone through my window."

A short silence followed and, maybe he missed my seriousness because, after a few seconds, he started laughing like an idiot.

Lovely.

"Yeah, Ry, I was...um. I was kind of serious, I love those pants and now they're probably being eaten by bugs and things."

This just made him laugh harder and I sighed.

"Whatever. I'm gonna go back to working on my paper. I think my computer is a tad bit more sane than you right now, and that's saying something because normally I think my computer is possessed by like, Satan or something," I said, sitting up and moving my hands around a bit in the direction of my computer.

I glanced at Ryan and he was looking at me with his head tilted to the left and one delicate eyebrow raised.

"Right. Satan, got it," he said, shaking his head a bit with a smile, "I'm gonna stay here tonight and sleep. That was the whole reason I came over, Mom's kind of out of it tonight."

I nodded. 'Out of it'; I think we all know what that means.

"Okay, thanks for the help," I said and Ryan chuckled a bit before standing up and coming towards me with his arms out.

I smiled and leaned into his arms as he hugged me. He smelled nice. Kind of like vanilla and honey.

With a kiss on the cheek, he said a quick goodnight and climbed into my bed, pulling the covers up under his chin and getting comfortable.

I turned my attention back to my monitor and sighed. Only seven more pages to go.

***

Three hours, seven pages, and two Bright Eyes albums later, I was finally finished with the research paper from hell.

My eyes felt like they were falling out of my skull, my fingers were on fire, and Ryan was softly snoring.

I blinked a few times before saving my paper to three separate disks (what? I'm paranoid) and standing slowly.

Wow. I was more tired than I thought. I didn't quite 'walk' to my bed, so much as I stumbled like a drunk in it's direction before falling onto it.

"Fuck....Bren. That was like, my leg or something. It could have been my arm, I guess. I'm tired, who knows what it was, but it hurts because your fat ass is killing it," came a small voice from under my huge comforter and, if I wasn't so tired, I might have listened or been amazed at his ability to form full sentences.

"Yeah, well. Move, I'm tired."

He grumbled a bit (something about my ass and his hand...um, yeah) but moved a bit to the left anyway.

Smiling tiredly, I took off my glasses and tossed them to the ground (not one of my better ideas) before lifting the edge of my comforter and climbing in beside him.

"Hey Bren?"

"Yeah?"

A soft rustling noise and then, Ryan was facing me and talking. "Could you like...hold me or something?"

I blinked. Um, yeah 'hold him'?

"Um....." but he either didn't hear me, or didn't care (probably both) because suddenly there he was, his back facing me and his ass pressing against my crotch.

"Um...."

"I love you Bren, night."

I blinked again but shrugged it off, wrapping an arm around his (really tiny, Jesus) waist and letting myself fall asleep.

***
The next morning, my alarm didn't go off.

I woke up comfortably, but two hours late for school.

Normally, this would make me yell and scream an pout and possibly eat some cookies, but this morning I had a Ryan on me and it was kind of nice. I decided not to complain; my karma was bad enough as it was.

Since Ryan was still asleep, I took a moment to examine the situation in peace.

Ryan was sleeping soundly, curled up close to my body. Somehow during the night, I ended up on my back (shut up, perves!) with on arms at my sides, one under Ryan and one holding his hand. His head rested right under my chin, close enough for his hair to brush against it when he breathed in. One arm was wrapped around my waist, the other was....somewhere.

Well. This was new.

Before I really had the chance to analyze the situation, he was awake.

I looked down at him as he wriggled around a bit before yawning softly against my chest and looking up at me.

"'Morning," he mumbled, his voice deep and raspy. Deep hazel eyes looked slightly dulled as he blinked up at me with a smile.

"Morning, Ry."

A comfortable silence enveloped us. I wouldn't exactly call it awkward, really. Though, I had expected Ryan to wake up, yell at me for not waking him up earlier and go to school. Again, this was new.

Instead of getting up, Ryan closed his eyes and cuddled closer into my side, making a small, pleased noise as he did so.

Um....yeah, this was not going to work.

"Hey, Ry?" I said, slipping my fingers from his and moving my hand to run fingers through his soft hair.

He didn't reply, just mumbled a bit.

I rolled my eyes.

"Ry? Sweetie, you need to wake up."

Sweetie? Jesus Christ, what the hell was I turning into?

Ryan finally cracked one eye open.

"Can I just sleep for like....a few more hours or something? I'm tired Bren," he replied and again, I was amazed at his sentence sculpting skills so early.

"No, you can't. It's ten in the morning; we'll barely make it in time to turn in our papers."

Before I finished my last word, he was sitting up with fire in his eyes.

"What? Why didn't you tell me we were late?" he hissed, rubbing tiredly at his eyes and sighing heavily.

Ah, now that's the Ryan I'm used to.

"Whatever," he grumbled, standing up on unsteady feet and fleeing to my bathroom.

Smiling, I sat up as well, reaching blindly across the floor for my glasses.

***

Ryan was back to normal after his morning shower and make-up session. It was amazing how easily he could switch moods. No wonder he was gay.

Of course, he didn't bring clothes with him so he was forced to wear my tightest pair of jeans (still a bit baggy over his very nice ass) and a tight, plain black t-shirt with a hot-pink studded belt (a birthday present from him the year before--I never wore it).

He looked nice; not his usual 'sex-on-legs' self, but he still looked good.,

There was, however, no salvaging my hair. It was sticking up all over the place, kinda greasy, and dull. Lovely. When Ryan got a good look at it he said something along the lines of, 'if I hadn't been here all night, I would swear you had sex last night' to which I replied, 'how do you know I didn't sex you in your sleep?'

This was apparently the wrong this to say as his eyes dulled and everything about him seemed to sag.

His shoulders fell and his perfectly styled hair seemed to go limp.

Hell, it was just a joke, yeah? What's the big deal?

My smile died on my lips and I stepped forward from beside my bed where I was getting dressed and walked towards him.

"Hey, don't freak out. It was a joke, babe."

His head snapped up and he backed away; his eyes flashed something dangerous. I blinked a few times in confusion. This wasn't my Ryan, what had gotten into him?

"Don't call me, 'babe'," he hissed before grabbing a black hoodie from the floor (my hoodie, actually) and stalking out of my room; slamming the door behind him.

What. The. Fuck.

Alright, I definitely missed something.

Shocked, hurt, and worried, I sank back onto my bed and closed my eyes. Either Ryan was PMSing or there was something important he wasn't telling me. But what? I sighed. Ryan and me had been best friends since the third grade. He told me everything; everything.

I shook my head and spoke out loud, "Forget it, Urie. It's probably not a big deal."

School was pointless. It was already past Third period, Ryan was mad at me, and I was tired.

I yawned and stripped off my jeans and t-shirt, turned off my light, and climbed back under my comforter. Whatever was bothering Ryan, he would tell me about it later.

Right?

Right.

[NOTE] Hi guys! New story for you guys. This is, obviously, linked to my journal. If you want to, add me humxhallelujahx. I love new friends. I'd love to try a co-write sometime, so if anyone is interested, my aim is overcastxkidxx. If you guys like this, I'll post more?]

Request-A-Fic!

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 02:59:42 GMT

I'm having a small drought of inspiration. So, to help me combat that, I have decided to start opening my journal to requests.

Simply fill out this form:

Pairing:
Rating: Some people aren't into NC-17 *shrugs*
AU or not:
Preferred ages:
Plot preferences:
Other:

And comment with it. (Bold = TEXT)

I'll work on two or three a week because I'm not expecting to get any more than that ever.

have fun!

Red

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 22:49:09 GMT

Title: Red
Author: Me. duh.

Rating: PG
Pairing: Brendon//Ryan
POV: 2rd person; Brendon
Summary: Desperately close to a coffin of hope I'd cheat destiny just to be near you.
Disclaimer: Chyea. Not mine and I pray to God this never happens.
Author Notes: So this is old and stuff...but I thought the non-existent people who read this would like it. It's sad, you have been warned.
Dedications: To </a></a>tip_painter becasue she wanted me to post this. <3

Red

It’s cold.

Not the comforting, nippy kind of cold you used to love when you were little. Not the warm kind of cold you feel after playing in the snow.

The kind of cold you can feel in your bones and it’s making you uncomfortable.

The quiet boy beside you isn’t helping. He isn’t offering you a comforting hand or a warm arm around your waist.

He’s just staring straight ahead to the snowy scene in front of you, staring out your front window, and you’re pretty sure he’s crying as well, but he won't let you see his face.

This isn’t the sort of Christmas you had intended.

You didn’t expect to wake up alone.

Well, not quit alone, seeing as Ryan was still in the house. But he wasn’t in your arms and that bothered you.

When you found him, alone in the den, you knew.

You didn’t expect for him to find out, he was never supposed to find out.

How in the hell did he find out?

He breaks the silence, and you jump a little, surprised.

"Why didn’t you tell me, Brendon?’

You don’t answer. You can’t answer. There’s a Christmas tree in the corner of the large room, bright rainbow lights twinkling in the dark night. It’s so deceiving, you realize, and the sudden urge to turn the lights off fills you. Light is hopeful and happy. There was nothing hopeful and happy about you anymore. The light in your eyes has gone out.

You cough a little and he takes a deep, shuddering breath, trying to stay calm.

And then he looks at you with the saddest eyes you’ve ever seen and you almost cry. Almost. Someone has to be strong.

"I couldn’t", you whisper, finally finding your voice. But it breaks and , God, you sound so defeated. You let it defeat you.

And then he’s holding you and your frail body is wracked with sobs as his arms tighten around you, afraid to let go. You've let the dam break and the walls you'd been bulding with secrets are crumbling.

But you still feel so cold.

"I.....I wanted....to....s-so bad." you gasp, "B-but I couldn-n’t."

And now he’s shaking his head, tears stopped, and he’s pulling away.

You’re scared.

"Baby, I’ll love you no matter what. You could have told me." he insists.

You shake your head and he sighs.

"How did you find out?" you whisper, it seems to be all you can do. You're strong, confident voice has abandoned you.

Ryan fiddles nervously with his hands before finally looking up to meet your watery eyes.

"I called our doctor and demanded that he tell me, because it’s obvious you were hiding something and you wouldn’t tell me."

You nod. It’s understandable, you would have done the same thing.

It’s silent for a long time. It feels like hours to you and you’re still cold.

When he finally breaks the silence he sounds bitter and you’re scared.

"I though it was me. I thought the reason we’ve never had sex or done anything sexual at all was because something was wrong with me. I always wondered why you were so careful around me, why you’d never let me help you if you scraped your elbow or got a paper-cut. Now I know."

But toward the end his voice was like heart-break personified.

You felt so terrible, guilty and ashamed of yourself for even thinking that a relationship could work. God, he deserves so much better.

"AIDS." Whispers Ryan, and in that moment, everything suddenly feels real.

It's as if you had spent the past six months in a wonderfully oblivious dream; aware of your disease but hiding it so you didn’t have to deal with it, didn't have to nother someone as amazing as Ryan with something so tainted.

A rude awakening.

Now you were awake, awake and afraid of the future, not sure of how much longer you had with this beautiful boy beside you.

Silence falls again.

"Could you.....could you just hold me?" and it sounds like you’re pleading with him, not asking.

He nods and his arms are around you again in an instant.

Holding you.

Comforting you; or at least trying to. He was trying so hard.

He deserved so much better.

But you didn’t have the heart to leave him now, if he wanted to make this work, then you were willing to try for him.

You could feel warm tears soaking into the shoulder of your shirt and you closed your eyes.

Maybe things would look better in the morning.

This is a stick up! Give me all your inspiration

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 18:21:26 GMT

So, I was prowling through the dark recesses of my hard drive and came across an old William/Travis standalone. It's short.

But I sent it to one of my beta's and she made a few suggestions on parts I need to work on.

I'm stuck.

Help me?

Okay, my beta but astericks around the parts she thought needed help. Like the first one, 'tired wheel' she said that making the wheel tired sounded off.

And when William says 'I love you' she thought it was a bit out of the blue.

What do you guys think?

Two lovers held the world before their eyes, in the form of a long stretch of dark midnight highway. One was poised drowsily behind the *tired wheel* of an old mini-van. His coarse black hair was tied up loosely and tucked sloppily under an old base-ball cap. A large black hoodie was draped over his thin frame and his favorite sneakers had been abandoned miles ago. In his eyes, the dusty road before them was their new home. The other snoozed absently against the cool window. One delicate hand was positioned beneath his face, a makeshift barrier from the window. The other was stretched out to the other boy, drowsy fingers laced with ones deep in sleep. They made the perfect pair. Somewhere between Chicago and forever, William woke up. He blinked furiously, for it had been light out when he fell asleep, but he glanced and smiled at his lover, Travis. *"I love you Travis." he said.* "I know." "Do you....are you sure this is what you want? Me, I mean?" he asked, turning his head away and focusing on the stars. Travis frowned and glanced over at his small lover. "It's not necessarily about want. I need you William. It's really that simple." he stated, eyes glued to the road ahead. William nodded. A small silence fell between them as William studied the world outside of the van. A light, misting rain was falling around them and he closed his eyes. "I need you too, Travis," whispered William, smiling at him fondly before laying his face against the window once more. Travis smiled back, disentangling his fingers from William's and laying his large hand over his lover's tiny thigh. William smiled once more. His grip was firm, possessive--safe. It was something familiar in a brand new world and William clung to it. He let that one touch comfort all of his fears, and every doubt was washed away like footprints in the rain. ---

But on the bright side, Ryan Ross exists.

XO

These are the words you wish you wrote down

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 02:30:08 GMT

So there I was, spitting on my goldfish, trying to keep it alive, when all of a sudden.....? Any takers?

Ahem.

I'm having a tiny bit of writer's block on A Secret Silenced. But don't throw anything at me, okay? It's not bad. I'm just kind of stuck on how I want to set up the next chapter. I'll put a few bits and pieces up as I work on them to see if anyone wants to help me with them.

Hello?

Is there anyone out there?

If anyone reads this, comment please, just this once so I can know that people are reading, alright?

XOXO

Writer's Block: Words that you love and hate

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 03:08:16 GMT

What are your favorite and least favorite words? Any reasons why?

Favorite word: Soliloquy . I LOVE that word, and I use it whenever I get the chance. I love how it sounds and how each letter kind of just rolls off my tongue.

Least favorite word: One of the things about being a writer is learning to appreciate all words. But I hate the word Wednesday. Don't ask.

Just off the key of reason

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 02:52:49 GMT

Hey!

*waves*

So this is my new journal. I used to be ohxtisxaxposer
I am obsessed with the following:

Ryan Ross
Frank Iero
Patrick Stump(h)
Pete Wentz
Brendon Urie
Oscar Wilde
Reading
Writing
Poetry
Fight Club
Music
Fall Out Boy
Panic! At the Disco
My Chemical Romance
Anna Nalick

If you guys aren't prepared for random ramblings, poetry, slash and pictures, then don't friend me. But hey, if you want to lurk around, that's cool. I might not add you right back if you add me first, but I will add back eventually.

If you are a fan of my writing, add me to get previews and updates at least a day in advance.

If you comment, I will comment you back. If you need a beta, ask me here.

XOXO
Rei